Left in Yugoslavia by his parents before his first birthday, he met them again in Canada at the age of four. He left behind a loving grandmother and found himself in a household where physical beatings and continuous shaming were the order of the day. He was immediately thrust into the role of confidante, guide, helper, and junior psychologist to his parents, as well as parenting his younger brother. Unbeknownst to anyone outside of his family, he left home in the tenth grade, supporting himself through the rest of his high school years and on into college.
At age twenty, Vladimir married and soon was the father of two. After fourteen years, he became a divorced single parent, raising two children on his own. He struggled with people-pleasing/rage issues. He was involved in addictive behaviors, was a workaholic and a “superstar” at everything he did, immersed himself into studying psychology, and had to do it all “perfectly.” And, above all, had to always be in control.
He received a major wake-up call at age 39 when he was told he had three months to live, and that was when he knew it was time to heal his soul. About that same time, Vladimir saw a most kind, gentle man who worked in a hospice, being at thousands of people’s bedsides at their deaths, and they all asked the same two questions:
“AM I LOVED” and “DID I LOVE WELL?”
Vladimir decided not to wait until death, and began asking those same questions to himself every day. Today, he feels it instantly, moment to moment, if he is not honouring himself and others in a loving manner. He has now moved from being a “people-pleaser/rager” to feeling overwhelming bouts of joy for no apparent reason.
