Excerpts from e-book: How about I just be Me…
The following are statements based on thoughts; they are not, Not, NOT feelings:
- “You are a saboteur. You are crazy. That’s just how I feel.”
- I feel like you are attacking me.
- I feel that you are a jerk.
- I feel like an ice cream.
- I feel like I am not heard.
- You make me feel angry.
- You make me feel like an idiot.
In fact you can’t make me feel anything, without my permission. Again, these are thoughts. Yet we hear this again and again, that these are feelings. They are not. “You don’t like me. That’s how I feel.” (This is a projection because I have no way of knowing this to be true unless I ask you specifically, and even then it’s still not a feeling.)
I ask: How do you feel about thinking that I don’t like you?
“I feel if I call you, you won’t answer the phone.”
I ask: How do you feel when you are thinking that I won’t answer the phone?
“I feel you are talking behind my back.”
I ask: How do you feel about thinking that I am talking behind your back?
“I feel you reject me when you roll your eyes.”
I ask: How do you feel about thinking I reject you?
“I feel that I have failed.”
I ask: How do you feel thinking that you failed?
“I feel like a loser.”
How does it feel when you think you are a loser? “That you won’t love me.”
How does it feel when you think I won’t love you? “I feel bad.”
What does bad feel like? “Not good.”
What does that mean? “I don’t know.”
And when you don’t know, what does that feel like? “I don’t know.”
Yes, you do. “No, I don’t.”
I ask: What if you did know? “I feel… [useless, incompetent]” Now… that’s a feeling.
When I say: I feel like crying, I actually mean: I feel sad, and I feel like crying.
When I say: I feel like I know it, I actually mean I feel confident that I know it.
When I say: I feel it is a waste of time, I actually mean: I actually feel edgy and impatient about wasting my time and I want to avoid the feeling.
When I say: I think it sucks, I actually mean: I feel disinterested.
When I say: He’s an asshole, I actually mean I am feeling angry at him.
“I feel like you are a phony.” This is attacking the person and what I really mean is I feel misled or lied to.
People often say: “That’s how I feel and I can’t help it” however, this is not a feeling either.
The truest statement regarding feelings would be: I feel ________. That’s it, nothing more, nothing less.
The following lists contains actual feelings:
Feelings emanating from Love/Soul:.
Feelings emanating from Fear/Ego:.
